When asked about who is the person who has made us feel most loved, the most common responses are usually Dad or in some cases grandfathers. Why? What is special about that love they give us and that makes us feel so dear?
The key is in unconditionality. In the way of loving sincerely and without conditions, which does not understand perfection, expectations or errors, but of acceptance. Hence the importance of unconditional love for our children. Let’s go deeper.
Love without conditions
Unconditional love is the purest and most sincere expression of love. It is generally reserved for children. It is natural, and you don’t have to do anything to make it happen. Simply when a child is born, his Dad falls in love with him, regardless of how it is.
Probably no other person will want us this way: without conditions. No matter how we are, our mistakes or defects. Without having to do anything to be loved, just be ourselves.
Unconditional love has great value during the first years of parenting. It is the basis for the development of a secure attachment bond and its subsequent emotional structure.
A child who feels safe and caring will want to explore the world and interact with others without fear because he knows there is a safe place to go, where he is cared for and loved. Also, he will become an adult with good self-esteem and will be more likely to establish satisfying relationships with others.
As we see, this type of love confers stability, a sense of protection and security, necessary ingredients to feel good about ourselves and others.
Signs of unconditional love for our children
Sometimes, we are sure to love our children unconditionally, but do they know it? Are we able to transmit it properly? The reality is that sometimes they can perceive it differently. Therefore, it is essential to make sure how they feel.
In addition, so that our people feel unconditionally loved by us, the following recommendations can help us:
- Tell children how much you love them, not only when they do something right.
- Do not compare them with siblings, friends or cousins. It is important to let our children know that we accept them and want as they are, with their virtues and their aspects of improvement, but that these aspects do not influence our love for them.
- Spend time. Spending quality time with our children is very important. A fantastic way to spend time with them is looking for a common hobby: a sport, cinema, painting or something that we really love, and that we enjoy doing together.
- Communication. When we quarrel with our children, many times we do not explain why, we say “do not get on there”, “do not touch that”, “do not do the other”. It is important to explain the reason why he is being scolded, in addition to being firm with our orders, without devaluing them if they are wrong and encouraging them to improve.
Finally, we must not forget that unconditional love is intimately linked to care. As affectionate and dialoguing as we show ourselves with our children, if we do not cover their basic needs for attention, food, hygiene, and studies, among others, there will be no such unconditional love.